Thursday, 17 April 2008

Skippy Dipping


I've found some wood in a skip. It used to be part of a roof. There's about 100 years of dirt on it. There are some splits and holes from wires and pipes. Its warped from all its years of work. It's owners couldn't take care of it any more...
Covered in rubble and debris it sat in the cold London rain...

But with care, attention, power tools and some creative patchwork, we can make a difference.


Together we can stop this unfair treatment of wood and give it a second chance at life.

Monday, 11 December 2006

Salvage Army

I haven't posted for a while because I've been starting what I hope to be a regular article on this page.

I like making stuff. I don't really care what it is as long as it works, it looks good, its for free or it's very inexpensive.

In today's disposable society there's so much stuff that people through out every day that could be used for a multitude of purposes. Skips are like a free second hand shop.

After all, we seem to care so much about recycling but seem to forget the most efficient way to do it is to just re-use the stuff we would have normally thrown away.

Here is the first of my things I made out of stuff that would have nomally gone to the dump.

Here is what I had...














Lots of wooden slats from an old Ikea bed that was damaged beyond repair. They're all the same length height and width so I thought I'd make something like this...













It costs £109.99 from ebay. Not cheap. Its a rustic Mexican coffee table/chest. the top is hinged along the centre and has two doors. I thought this was a great piece of design because its great for storage of DVDs books games etc. It looked simple and being 'rustic country' means you can bash it about and not worry too much.

So I got some cheap unfinished 1'' by 2'' and screwed the slats on with some antique black screws. In fact quite a lot of dry wall screws are black so I just used them. They're actually better anyway. Then I cut the 1 by 2 off at the ends to make 2 boards.














Can you see thats its two boards? No reason that they're linked. It was just late and I didn't want to do any sawing.

From here, its not too hard to make your general square.














Try to make sure the diagonals are the same length (that proves it's square) but if there not quite right you can re-adjust them with a 'persuader'. I call my persuader a hammer :)

Now I put in a centre bar.














This is what the hinges will rest on. Its just another slat with a 1 by 2 supporting it.

Then I made the doors. Guess what? slats screwed to 1 by 2.

















I tapered the ends so that it could open and close but if it didn't fit when I put it on the box I'd just trim a bit more off. That’s why it was good to pick that rustic style.

Then I covered the bottom with pine tongue and grove cladding.














It was the only other wood I bought but it was worth it for the finished affect. This was 2 packs at £1.98 each.

I now used a very old technique to make new pine look old. You treat the wood with a solution of caustic soda or 'lye'. There is a reaction between the sodium-hydroxide, oxygen and the tannic acid in the pine. It' kind of a fast forward for the ageing process. Science is cool.














When it was dry I used spirit vinegar to neutralise the surface (caustic soda is alkali).

This also means I didn't drink it, splash it on like after-shave or rub it in my pets eyes.

Then it was a matter of finishing the piece. I feel like I can call it a 'piece' now because it actually looks like a piece of furniture.














I chose a natural bee's wax to bring out the grain.

The ageing process really brings out the natural old honey colour of the pine.

I guess you could say I splashed out on the hardware.The Hinges were £2.99 and the handles were £2.89 (I trawled through ebay).














I'm happy though that I didn't compramise too much. I think after all my hard work it was worth it.

Tadah! Ready in time for Christmas and a happy new year!















My version cost:

£3.96 for 1 by 2 wood (loads left over)
£5.88 for hard ware
£3.96 for tongue and grove
£1.10 for wax (some left)
£3.60 for screws

Total: £18.50

Saving: £91.49/the planet.

Thursday, 30 November 2006

Until Still

I will walk on grass and leave no mark
No daisy turned from the sun from my foot fall
No one shall see my figure on the meadow
Barbed wire fences shall not pull at my clothes

I shall sit on my family’s stone steps
But they will long for my presence
The holly I cut will wait for my foot in it’s branch
The window will go unfixed in memory of me

The cats will go from room to room
My clothes will always be folded
Those who hate me will regret
The smell of me will fade

No door bell ring will announce me
Nor thunder frighten me
No wine will make my image clear
My mark on the seat is fading

The crop is gathered and what's left is earth
I have gone to find my own true love

Tuesday, 28 November 2006

NTL. Not Tonight Love or Nice Tongue Lashing?


Sooo. I finally have internet in my new home London SE17. However over the last few weeks I have spent hours, maybe even days on hold to NTL . The brain washing I received whilst on hold still ringing in my ears…

Music (up lifting commercial crap)

Welcome to NTL. Your in a queue but your call is important to us.

Music

Remote control not working? Why not check the batteries.

Music

Having difficulties receiving calls? Maybe a lack of telephone is the issue.

Music

Having problems seeing a picture on your NTL television? Perhaps your eyes have popped out. Why not save your self a wait and try replacing them.

Dial tone.

And so it went on. They even had a vocal segment that said "We receive over a thousand calls each month from people experiencing problems with their telephone connections. Some of these problems can be solved by..."

A THOUSAND?!!! Presumably they're also calling the 0845 number on their mobiles as well. Now try getting the hour plus call deducted from your NTL bill.

No... I mean it... Really do.

You see, it's part of their policy that their not allowed to hang up. If they do, it gets registered on the system and they have to go through hell to explain it. Here in lies the rub;

Firstly, get them to call you back so it's free (they will if you ask them) and then...

Lay siege to them! That's what I say. They have the power to wipe your bill clean if they so wish. Even if you don'et care, pretend that you do. Lets see how much they really are prepared to sit through. I did. It's great. You can even call them names (the company that is, not just ' get bent fatty').

It's addictive once you know how to work the system. Soon enough you'll find that you have your very own whipping boy. A 24 hour free service that you can vent your world weary spleen at. The best thing is there's thousands of them. All with different rules and nuances.

Try it out with other companies. Let me know which ones are best.

Conrad

Friday, 24 November 2006

Love Song



Sit on your pony and I'll sing you a song
But the words I'll forget
Read you my poem I've not finished yet
Tell you I'll need you in infinite ways
'Till the end of my days

We're like mice on the underground
Blissfully unaware of the life up above
But nothing can spoil our little mouse love
We'll take our lives in our hands as we dance down the rails
Chasing our tails

And I could never leave you
'Cos if I did I'd die
For I wouldn't be me

With each day that's dawning a day has to die
And still nothing gets done
But Who could be truer
Than my precious one
Carefully saving our pennies in jars
Just to waste then in bars

And as days turn to weeks
and then weeks turn to months
See how much I have grown
I'm seven years old I've had nineteen alone
You mended the life that was falling apart
On the way to your heart

And I could never leave you
'Cos if I did I'd die
For I wouldn't be me

So sit on your pony and I'll sing you a song
But the words I'll forget
Read you my poem I've not finished yet
Tell you I'll need you in infinite ways
'Till the end of my days